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Post by buzzonesbirdie on Aug 27, 2008 16:02:47 GMT -5
My 6 year old thinks that she is too fat. I want to grab her and yell at her but that wont work. She is 4 foot even and 51 lbs, as of today. She even told her dr that she was fat so we spent like 2 hours at her school physical with me and the dr talking to her. Its the d**n tv and magazines that i dont let her watch but her biological father and his family do and i cant stop them. I think she is beautiful and no where near fat any one out there with girls that went through this that has any advice, or went through it them selfs. Thanks i needed to vent  |
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Post by velvetfuzzbutt on Aug 27, 2008 16:11:17 GMT -5
Do you think you're fat? Children see and hear way more than adults think, they may not understand or grasp all concepts but some are pretty simple. It's not always the media, if she has an older sibling, friend, or close relative who feels they have a weight problem or some cosmetic problem she might "see" it too. Does she compare herself to anyone?
I hate that children start thinking this way, and begin to lose that innocence so young. whatever happened to going outside with an odd or crazy outfit because they picked it out? now children are worried they must be fat.
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Post by pear2apple on Aug 27, 2008 16:35:33 GMT -5
I hear ya Velvet. Both of you actually. This is just one of the many reasons I don't want kids! Media today is telling them they need to dress slutty, have sex, are too fat, need to wear high heels, show the tummy, where lots of makeup, etc just to fit in! Then you now have kid models wearing sexy makeup! Its disgusting! Then there's Miley Cirus and her explicit photoshoot. I don't care how much clothes she was wearing, that was EXTREMELY distasteful and I was appalled that anyone could possibly have thought that was ok for a girl her age!!! And with so many young fans just trying to look up to her! What is this another Britney? People forget their fan base and try to grow up too fast!
I got off on a tangent there. It just makes me so sad when young girls (mainly) think they are too big. I can only suggest you play on her other strengths. Do not point out how she physically looks, instead focus on her other talents. Do not put so much stock in competitive sports, but more in the fun of playing sports. In fact, maybe she just needs a new hobby.
Tell her to stop looking at kids on TV because they are totally different. Not only do they WORK not study 12hours a day, they are also on diets. No chocolate, no ice cream, no pizza, no french fries....name off her fave foods here, its ok to fib a little if it has a positive impact here. Its not a total lie because many models eat a diet of sushi! So really, I would try to explain to her that everyone is a different size/shape and thats what makes us unique..thats where it starts anyway! And no matter what, you'll love her (give her that speech).
Oooh maybe you could parellel all your ferrets and how they have different personalities and are all different sizes and shapes but we love them anyway, for me its always because of their differences! Thats it, explain it to something that she understands really well. Like ferret communities! Not just families or friends, but a whole community of them. Like us at HF!
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Post by buzzonesbirdie on Aug 27, 2008 18:48:58 GMT -5
I am overweight but I dont go around calling myself fat or saying that i am on a diet, or need to lose weight becuase i DO NOT want her to pick up on that. Thats not saying that i have never said anything about or that she could have overheard me saying something to someone else it probaly happened, all I am saying is that i do not dewel on it. I like the idea of using the ferrets, we have so many and they all look different (except Riely and Datta they are twins  ) Thanks guys it help to hear that everyone else is soo fed up with all the fakeness too. |
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Post by weloveourweasels on Aug 28, 2008 3:25:19 GMT -5
I am so with you. i makes me ILL to my stomach. My sister helped my mom takes the cats to the vet (only 2 of them but my mom is lame and can't go anywhere without someone holding her hand)  Anyways my neice (will be 5 in febuary) spends time with her cousin (boy, same age as her though) And her aunt was stick thin throughout her pregnancy and as soon as she had the baby she looked like she never was pregnant. So she is always saying she doesn't want to get a fat belly and yada yada (I mean the girl looks like a model) and My neice was in the vets office and something came up to where my neice said she doesn't want to get a fat belly. I know half of it is from her aunt but the other half is from her mom ( my sister) who is still overweigh from having her son 9 months ago and is also saying I don't need that I'm big enough as it is blah blah. So she picks up on that and I fear she will have an eating disorder because of it. So on the Miley cirus thing Here is something I said to someone else on the topic This spring when it started to get really hot she was still wearing fur lined boots. Her feet were always very sweaty when i took them off of her. (her mom lets her dress herself)*rolls eyes* so she kept coming over here wearing these boots and it made me sick I asked her why and she said because they make me beautiful like Hannah Montana and I explained to her not to worry about looks she is beautiful no matter what. She didn't wear the boots ever again. then Miley posed wearing the sheet (she looked horrible might i add) and her mother banned her from watching the show thank goodness. |
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Post by razzlette on Aug 28, 2008 8:34:53 GMT -5
Having 4 little kids (1boy 3girls) I know what your talking about. It is so hard to let them be them but still make sure that they are not getting the wrong idea.
My son will be 8 Sept 1st and was diagnosed with ADHD 3 year ago and is having a hard time dealing with it. Not the ADHD its self but the fact of him having ADHD. When I found out that Michael Phelps has had ADHD since he was little it was the perfect tool. I showed my son and he was shocked! We watched all of Michael's races and he was so excited. It let him know that if you believe in your self you can do anything.
In no way is she over weight! I'm sure he is a beautiful girl. But maybe you can talk to her about all the beautiful and successful people that are a bit heaver. And let her know that how ever her body is she will always be beautiful!
Kids do grow up to fast and with everything going on these days it is hard to deal with but we don't have much choice. My mom keeps telling me the same thing. I'm 27 with 4 kids and a wonderful husband. My mom still can't believe it!
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Post by meli on Aug 28, 2008 12:10:05 GMT -5
My six year old is the same way about appearance. She gets upset if she gets a bump, pimple, or scratch on her face. She automatically says she looks ugly. I just reassure her that she's beautiful no matter what and not to care what anyone thinks. Its not only t.v. and magazines, its also the people and kids they are around on a daily basis. Now n' days clothing lines are making smaller versions of adult clothes and it kills me to think people let their little children dress that way. I love that my 6 yr old is very girly, but I want her to have fun and be a kid to. Worrying about appearance at such a young age is so damaging. With your reassurance Jasmine, she'll soon realize she's beautiful no matter what others think.
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Post by jennifer5799 on Aug 28, 2008 16:36:37 GMT -5
I agree that it's sad when kids think things like that. My cousin is the same age as my son (about to turn 7) and her mother is very vain and it totally shows in the way they both act. I also think a lot of it is the kids looking for attention, and they just happen to stumble across the exact thing that pushes their parents' buttons and makes them pay attention. I do have to say however, my daughter watches Hannah/Miley, and other Disney shows, and I'm ok with that. As far as the photo shoot, yeah, she screwed up, but she's only human. Besides that, 15 is a very difficult age for any girl, nevermind one trying to grow up in the spotlight. She screwed up, she admitted it, she apologized. If it happens again, I may have a different opinion, but I personally feel that she isn't a bad 'role model' compared to what else is out there these days. That said, my daughter has never once had any issues with the way she looks, even when she breaks out all nasty across her forehead. I say, make sure she knows that YOU think she's beautiful, and that it doesn't matter what 'the world' thinks, and don't let her dwell on it, or see you dwelling on it. Good luck  |
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Post by tsslilsis on Aug 28, 2008 18:39:08 GMT -5
The scary thing is that some of these mini versions of adult clothes, shouldn't even be worn by adults. If something clothes wise should be classified as for adults only they probably shouldn't be wearing it. And the adults out there who are dressing showy should realize what they are doing to the kids in the world. Would it be right for a 10 year old to dress the same way? Anyways.. Kids do learn from their parents and peers actions/the way they talk. My cousin is younger than I am and she is home schooled now but when she was in public school, even though she wasn't a bad kid she had problems. She lied a lot and it disrupted her ways of thinking. She came to me with problems a lot. She is 13 now and she hardly ever wears makeup. She does think she is chunky but that is because of the number on the scale, not her body. She was about 108 a couple years ago (and about 5 feet tall might I add) but now that she is 5'5 and 130, she thinks she's chubby. But in our family we have plenty of good female role models and we all ignore the ways of the world. We know right from wrong. No celebrity role models for us. She did like Miley Cyrus but she is more than over it now. I do think though that if a parent realizes that they might be modifying their child's way of thinking in a wrong way (openly not liking your body image or whatever) then they should change that. Especially while the kids are still young. No: Oh-My-GOSH my face is all broken out, I need to lose a few pounds, This or that should be alittle bigger or that should be alittle smaller. And you should also be a good role model as far as your eating and exercising goes. If a parent develops a bad habit when the kid is in their teens then usually the kid realizes what is being done that is wrong but if the parent has bad habits when the kid is young then the kid might pick up on it. My friend started smoking when he was about 16 or 17 because he's parents smoked and everyone around him did. Obviously his parents and peers are doing him NO GOOD.  -~Ketlin |
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Post by buzzonesbirdie on Aug 28, 2008 19:51:03 GMT -5
The funny thing is that my other daughter who is a little on chunky side could care less and some kid that lives near us called her fat today and Mariska, the one who thinks she is fat go all in the kids face saying that her sister is not fat. Afterwords i was talking to M and asked her if she really thought that her sister was not fat or if she was just sticking up for her she turned, looked at me and said "No mommy Kyares is not fat she is beautiful." I think with M its more what she hears from others and the fact that it gets a rise out of me so she says it, she has always liked pushing my buttons. BTW where can i find the button on her that makes her never turn into a teenager??  |
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Post by pear2apple on Aug 29, 2008 7:23:56 GMT -5
If a parent develops a bad habit when the kid is in their teens then usually the kid realizes what is being done that is wrong but if the parent has bad habits when the kid is young then the kid might pick up on it. My friend started smoking when he was about 16 or 17 because he's parents smoked and everyone around him did. Obviously his parents and peers are doing him NO GOOD. I used to be friends with a couple who would drink really heavy on weekends, and then sleep in until 12pm or so. They have a 4 year old daughter! I stayed over at their place twice during these drinking nights and every morning at 9am their daughter came downstairs and talked and colored with me. I would stay for like 2 hours and then finally I had to leave, and still her parents were not up! I couldn't believe it! Talk about bad parenting! That always made me mad, and one morning my friend was throwing up in the bathroom and her daughter came in there to see how she was. Ummm problems much?! |
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Post by tsslilsis on Aug 29, 2008 9:13:12 GMT -5
Thats horrible. That poor little girl is going to have major problems. She could get taken away. Imagen her going to school and "My parents are always sick, throwing up and they sleep all the time. I have to stay up alone". So what does the poor girl do for the three hours that her parents are laying around? The kids with the drinking parents are generally the ones who end up cutting and such. Or doing drugs to "get away from their problems". The world is so messed up. Birdie: That is SO SWEET!!!!!!!! Awwwww. Absolutely adorable!!!!! If only all kids were like that for their older siblings.  -~Ketlin |
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Post by pear2apple on Aug 29, 2008 9:40:37 GMT -5
I have no idea what this girl does while her parents sleep. And they have a puppy that jumps up all over the girl! The last time I stayed there I asked her when they would come downstairs, she didn't know. And what she does, and she just stays inside and plays alone. That is SO unsafe! And this is a sweet really smart girl, and it sucks because one day she will realize that they would rather sleep and be irresponsible than be with her.
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Post by tsslilsis on Aug 29, 2008 9:52:09 GMT -5
I know.. Four year olds are basically just out of babyhood in a way. My four year old cousin can't to anything by herself. It would be cool if you could be her role model and take her places and stuff while her parents are laying around.
The dog could kill her (not that it would) and the parents probably wouldn't know for like four hours. What would they tell the police? Goodness....
-~Ketlin
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Post by buzzonesbirdie on Aug 29, 2008 15:00:55 GMT -5
I admit that there are some mornings during the summer that the kids wake up before me and they are up for a while ( but never more then about an hour) before one of them thinks to come wake me up, but on the same note I'm not in a drunken stupor that a loud noise wont wake me up. On a dog forum that i am on there is a thread going on about a 12 week old lab puppy that was put to sleep because it mauled and killed a 3 month old baby while the mother and grandmother were in the house, what had they put in their bodies that they did not hear that poor poor baby screaming as the puppy mauled its feet and legs. There are too many ppl out there who have kids and should never have had them.
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