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Post by reedgirl20 on Jul 27, 2008 0:02:52 GMT -5
I am so sorry for your loss. Even though I deal with these decisions on a daily basis it is never easy. Please know that it is not easy as a vet to have to tell someone their beloved pet has something terribly wrong with them and they have to make this decision. I am sorry more vets are not willing to see ferrets but most are too scared of making the wrong decision regarding thier care.
As far as making the right decision, please don't doubt or torment yourself. Sams is no longer in pain, please remember that even though you are hurting right now. I know how horrible you must feel, I have recently lost two of my beloved crew in the last few months and my little Bo is taking it day by day and it is never easy.
Be strong, Sams is in a good place now, with no pain or sickness.
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Post by weloveourweasels on Jul 27, 2008 3:08:23 GMT -5
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Post by josiesmom on Jul 27, 2008 4:43:41 GMT -5
Awww Giuli,
This is terrible news. I know exactly how hollow you feel right now. Yesterday was the anniversary of Josie's passing and I spent the better part of the day crying as if it had just happened.
Yes when these guys go down hill its like a landslide. One day they are King of the mountain and the next they are at river bottom. Its horrible, especially when we are so helpless to offer them any aid.
Don't beat yourself up over the blockage and what ifs. These guys can ingest things that don't bother them for years, them the item lets loose and creates a blockage. All we can do is our best to keep their homes safe, even still they'll manage to find some interesting thing to taste.
It IS maddening to try and find a vet that will work with you or even yet, work on a ferret. For that vet to offer to do a surgery they've never done before and have the audacity to charge 1500.00 to use your ferret as a guinea pig/beginner surgery is appalling!
You did all you could for Sams and more than some people who wouldn't even have taken him to the vet's.
Keep Delilah as close to you for the next week or so and talk to her often. Give her plenty of treats and even hand feed her regular food for a few meals. Mention Sams name a lot and let her know he is o.k. just hiding and she'll find him one day to play with him. I firmly believe these guys can understand us and showing her that she is still loved and still has friends to snuggle with (you) will help ease her grieving period.
Sams really isn't completely gone- he'll make his presence known when you least expect it and in ways that you will recognize.
I wish I could be there to give you a hug in person. You need one.
Take care, Kim
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Post by quill on Jul 27, 2008 5:33:28 GMT -5
Giuli, I am so very sorry!
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Post by mustelidmusk on Jul 27, 2008 10:02:36 GMT -5
Giuli, I'm so, so sorry about Sams. Kim is so right about things that can hang out in the gut for years and then become problematic. It's also possiblre that, at 6 years of age, Sams had something else going on, and the weight loss was for a different reason than the obstruction. He may have eaten something out of the ordinary because becuse his tummy was bothering him to begin with (like teeth grinding, chewing on odd things would not be out of the ordinary for a ferret with a tuumy problem.)
Hung though and cudle your babies, they're there for you. And please let me know how I can help while you're dealing with your terrible loss. -jennifer
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Post by Forum Administrator on Jul 27, 2008 16:00:34 GMT -5
Kim your words were so true and beautiful. I remember when your Josie-girl passed away, I can't believe that she and Sams share the same "Date of Passing". You wrote a beautiful little memorial to Josie on NaturalFerrets, I'll never forget that.
Thank you Jaycee (Jen), Trina, Jennifer, Jasmine, and everyone that has PMed me "well wishes". Thanks to Jaycee and Amy for being there to talk with me on the phone and keep me sane. And thanks to everyone who offered their numbers to me so I could call if I needed anything.
It means alot to know you guys are there. I just popped in today to check my messages, but I wont be "back in action" and checking the other areas of the forum until tommorow (possibly the day after tommorow). I think the hardest part for me was that it all happened so fast.
Looking back I am very upset about how some of the things were handled with Sam's passing:
1. The dog cat vet wanted $1500 for surgery and flat out refused to do a payment plan for me. My pet was dying and I was crying my eyes out while the vet that I was at talked to this dog/cat vet on the phone, but they still refused to set up a payment plan EVEN with a down payment. (it doesnt matter that sams probably wouldnt have made it through surgery, what matters is that they werent willing to work with me at all!)
2. The took Sams into the back and put him to sleep. Looking back I am upset because I wish they would have put him to sleep in the room with me, so I could kiss his head and tell him I love him. At the time they were like "well we are going to take him back now" and I was like "okay" I mean I was a mess I didnt even know what to do. But now I am angry they didnt do it in front of me.
3. They brought Sams back out to me and I sat with him (after he'd passed) for a few minutes, holding him and crying. The vet clinic was closing and I asked for more time with his body (so I could let De take some time to register what was going on) I had to fight with them to let me do this. They were like "well we really need to take him back now"
4. When I was discussing euthenasia with the vet I asked her how much cremation would cost (I wanted to sprinkle some of Sam's ashes outside (his favorite place) and then when De passes I wanted to mix their ashes together and "set them free" together outside in my favorite place in the world (Estes Park, CO) Well after the vet left to prepare for Sam's euthenasia, the vet tech came in with a booklet of urns and asked me which one I wanted.......while Sams was still alive, staring up at me all bleary eyed in my lap!!!! It felt so wrong to "pick out" an urn while he was still alive...and in my lap!
All in all I am just shocked that with vets all that matters is $$$. I was talking to Jaycee about this on the phone last night. If you see a pet dying how could you not do a payment plan? I wasnt even asking for a discount (although the vet SHOULD have done that because she had no ferret experience) Is money SO important that you can actually let someone's pet die? I mean dont even get me started on kibble, some vets might not realize how bad it is, but seeing a pet dying in front of you. Seeing the owner sobbing and having a nervous breakdown....to still say "no payment plan" its disgusting! I have good credit, all they would have had to do is take my social and run a credit check! Even if I had bad credit though they should have been able to work something out. Like Jaycee said last night, "They do it for people, why not for pets?"
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Post by tss on Jul 27, 2008 16:43:53 GMT -5
I'm very sorry for your loss. It's never easy... The most inportant thing is that he isn't in pain, and that's all that matters.
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Post by weeksl08 on Jul 27, 2008 17:07:58 GMT -5
I am so sorry Guili! I just read and I'm bawling myself! I can't believe that some vet clinics are so money hungry! As a result, I am also taking out a "spare" credit card JUST FOR VET bills. Visa seems pretty widely accepted so I think I'll take out a student Visa card. Your story has also made me aware of my surroundings. The vet I go to knows little about ferrets. Monday, I'm going to call around town and ask plenty of questions from all of the clinics in my area. ! Your story has touched my heart and I will keep you and De in my prayers.
AND never doubt yourself or think you are a bad person!! You are doing so much for the fuzzy community! You have been a wonderful ferrent and you are educating and making others better ferrets. Your story may also save other lives and cause awareness.
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Post by bigsis7 on Jul 27, 2008 19:05:35 GMT -5
Giuli, I'm so sorry!! I'm bawling right now too just from reading that. I know what it's like to lose a loved pet. It's not something you can get over easily. I lost a 6 week old rat a day after my birthday to a brain tumor. I only had her 6 days, so the bond wasn't as strong as it was with you and Sams. There are many support groups that you can go to on the computer that can help you get through it. You are right about focusing on De right now. She really needs you since she just lost her best friend and you guys can help each other through it. I am also worried about her being at that age too and being with Sams for so long. Does she get along with Fugue? That might ehlp if they like each other or if you can somehow bond them. I'm so sorry!!!! ((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))
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Post by animalsgetrevenge on Jul 27, 2008 19:48:26 GMT -5
I am so sorry for your loss Giuli. I'm sorry you were put in a situation like that. Just remember that these things happen, luckily Sams had lived a beautiful life before he passed. You had rescued him from a horrible place and gave him an amazing home. After reading over this thread I can tell you did the right thing. We will be thinking of you, Sams, De and the rest of your family and sending warm and healing thoughts.
Cassandra
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Post by pear2apple on Jul 27, 2008 21:51:55 GMT -5
Giuli, I am so sorry for your loss. I am also sorry you had to deal with people who were less than compassionate. It is a sad time when vets (the people who are supposedly out there to make pets happy and healthy) can only look as far as your financial situation. I wish there was more I could do for you, I am just so sorry. That is a scary story, and it is making me rethink my plan for vet bills. If you need anything, PM or email me, and I will try to help you as best I can.
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Post by dalamar on Jul 27, 2008 23:12:35 GMT -5
Giuli I am so sorry. I just read went you went through over the weekend and I can hardly believe it. I know how you feel but you have to know that you are not a bad person; as I read everything that happened, I thought to myself, 'If this can happen to her it can happen to anyone.'
I'm going to be going over the entire house tomorrow morning before letting them out. And having a backup vet is something else that we should all look into.
Sam is at peace now and he knows that he is, was, and will always be loved.
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Post by wmella85 on Jul 28, 2008 14:53:55 GMT -5
oh guili, im so sorry. i read everything and cried the entire time. i know how helpless it feels when it is the middle of the night and the weekend has just started and your pet is sick. i went through something similar with Baxter. im so sorry you and Sams had to go through this. if we all could take away your pain we would. i cant believe that they asked you to look at urns while you were still holding him. i would send a very strongly worded letter to that offices owner. i am angry for you. it sounds like they were trying to to take advantage of you. horrible. i am so sorry. if there is anything that i can do for you, anything at all, just ask. i am going to pm you my phone number if you want to talk, or need some support. give De some kisses for me. lauren
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Post by desertram on Jul 28, 2008 18:56:16 GMT -5
Oh guili so sorry for your loss you cant beat yourself up over it you did everything you could do for sam look at it this way god wanted sam for something sam is happy dont be so upset somewhere out there is a ferret that is going to need your help just like sam did. sam will be in your heart and soul always i got tears in my eyes reading this it really broke my heart it will take time for your heart to heal just remember you have all of us here to lean on when u need it your not alone.
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Post by jennifer5799 on Jul 29, 2008 10:21:11 GMT -5
Giuli,
I'm just now finding about about this. I'm SO sorry about poor Sams. It sounds like you did everything you could, and that it was just his time to go. Sometimes things not working out like that is a sign for us, even if it royally sucks! Did you find out what caused the blockage? How are you and De doing? Please feel free to call if you need anyone else to talk to!
~Jenn
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