Post by katt on Aug 6, 2010 2:51:52 GMT -5
He is not a ferret, but I really did not know where else to put this. I just need to get it out... I apologize in advance for it being long and poorly written, just my thoughts...there aren't enough words that can be said...
Tony Collins was a very good friend of mine (a human friend). One of the best friends I have ever had and probably ever will had. No matter how long had passed since we had last been together, our friendship was always as strong as ever. For over a year now he has been battling a severe brain tumor. He had to quit school, where he was getting a degree in Music, to go to treatment. They did surgery to remove the tumor, and chemo, and radiation. When he finally came home we were all so happy, things were really looking up! Through all of the treatments and his obvious pain, Tony always had a smile on his face and a joke to share. He had such a strong faith in God, a faith that was completely unwavering no matter what was thrown his way. He found the humor in everything, and was always a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen. He spent his time working with handicapped children, and going to church events, and helping people where he could. We used to joke that he was the "emotionless one" because bad things would happen and he would still be so neutral and unbothered. In reality though, he was capable of loving more than almost any person I know.
These last two years, and the last few months especially, I have been so busy. I have been studying to take my Medical College Admissions Test (MCAT) to get into Med school. To get into Med School and become a doctor so that I can stop people like him from hurting, and others from feeling the pain of a lost loved one. I was so busy studying, that I could not take the time to go and visit him. I always put it off saying "after this test" "after Finals" "This summer" "after MCATS".....it was the day I finished my MCAT as I was heading to celebrate with some dinner and friends, that I got the news. The tumor finally won. There would be no "After MCATs." For the last several months Tony had been getting worse. I felt it coming, we all did, but no one expected it to come so soon. At 22 he was only a year older than me. His 23rd Birthday was going to be in 8 days, but now he will be forever young.
I feel terrible that I did not take the time to go see him when I had the chance. The irony of it is bitter, that I should miss being with one of my best friends to study to help strangers...I am trying to use it to fuel my determination. I want to stop people from feeling the pain that he did before he left. I know that he is in a better place now. He loved to play games, to be active in sports and marching band, and to play and listen to music. His last days he was in pain and his mind was blurred. He didn't have the coordination to play sports or music, and he could not play games because he had become unable to understand them. The tumor had grown back, and was completely inoperable. I am very glad that my friend is no longer in pain. I hurt for his family, and I hurt for the loss of a great friend. I had so many things to tell him, so many things that I wanted to do. Now, I just have the memories of the good old days. Now he is in heaven where he is at peace, and the clouds are filled with music he can march to. Shane had a very good way of putting it, and I reword it less eloquently than he did: there is nothing more important in life than to love and be loved. Tony was loved my more people in his short life, than most people are in 2 or 3 lifetimes. He loved endlessly, and it was returned to him a thousand fold. Though it was short, his life was very full of love. He will be missed by many.
I know he wants us to move on and be happy, so that I will try to do. But my life will be forever touched by his friendship and the good memories he gave me. I will always remember him as he was the day we first met. Young, energetic, happy... Goodbye Tony, you will forever live on in my heart, and in the hearts of many, many others. Rest well in heaven and hopefully we will meet again one day.
I just have to add, that I am very VERY grateful for the presence of my friends and family through this, and especially for Shane, and Koda. I don't know what I would do without my little furry weasel to snuggle and kiss me.
Tony Collins was a very good friend of mine (a human friend). One of the best friends I have ever had and probably ever will had. No matter how long had passed since we had last been together, our friendship was always as strong as ever. For over a year now he has been battling a severe brain tumor. He had to quit school, where he was getting a degree in Music, to go to treatment. They did surgery to remove the tumor, and chemo, and radiation. When he finally came home we were all so happy, things were really looking up! Through all of the treatments and his obvious pain, Tony always had a smile on his face and a joke to share. He had such a strong faith in God, a faith that was completely unwavering no matter what was thrown his way. He found the humor in everything, and was always a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen. He spent his time working with handicapped children, and going to church events, and helping people where he could. We used to joke that he was the "emotionless one" because bad things would happen and he would still be so neutral and unbothered. In reality though, he was capable of loving more than almost any person I know.
These last two years, and the last few months especially, I have been so busy. I have been studying to take my Medical College Admissions Test (MCAT) to get into Med school. To get into Med School and become a doctor so that I can stop people like him from hurting, and others from feeling the pain of a lost loved one. I was so busy studying, that I could not take the time to go and visit him. I always put it off saying "after this test" "after Finals" "This summer" "after MCATS".....it was the day I finished my MCAT as I was heading to celebrate with some dinner and friends, that I got the news. The tumor finally won. There would be no "After MCATs." For the last several months Tony had been getting worse. I felt it coming, we all did, but no one expected it to come so soon. At 22 he was only a year older than me. His 23rd Birthday was going to be in 8 days, but now he will be forever young.
I feel terrible that I did not take the time to go see him when I had the chance. The irony of it is bitter, that I should miss being with one of my best friends to study to help strangers...I am trying to use it to fuel my determination. I want to stop people from feeling the pain that he did before he left. I know that he is in a better place now. He loved to play games, to be active in sports and marching band, and to play and listen to music. His last days he was in pain and his mind was blurred. He didn't have the coordination to play sports or music, and he could not play games because he had become unable to understand them. The tumor had grown back, and was completely inoperable. I am very glad that my friend is no longer in pain. I hurt for his family, and I hurt for the loss of a great friend. I had so many things to tell him, so many things that I wanted to do. Now, I just have the memories of the good old days. Now he is in heaven where he is at peace, and the clouds are filled with music he can march to. Shane had a very good way of putting it, and I reword it less eloquently than he did: there is nothing more important in life than to love and be loved. Tony was loved my more people in his short life, than most people are in 2 or 3 lifetimes. He loved endlessly, and it was returned to him a thousand fold. Though it was short, his life was very full of love. He will be missed by many.
I know he wants us to move on and be happy, so that I will try to do. But my life will be forever touched by his friendship and the good memories he gave me. I will always remember him as he was the day we first met. Young, energetic, happy... Goodbye Tony, you will forever live on in my heart, and in the hearts of many, many others. Rest well in heaven and hopefully we will meet again one day.
I just have to add, that I am very VERY grateful for the presence of my friends and family through this, and especially for Shane, and Koda. I don't know what I would do without my little furry weasel to snuggle and kiss me.