Post by mjohn143 on Jul 2, 2010 23:15:34 GMT -5
Beatrice
06/08/2003 - 06/27/2010
I have been putting this off for almost a week now because I could not bear to think about the words that need to be said...even getting on the forum made me cry. This is really long, but I need to say it because I feel like to no one understands what I am going through, and I know you guys will.
On Sunday, June 27, 2010, Beatrice passed away. I swear I have never experienced such a terrible pain in my life...not even when human family members have passed away. I am still not really sure what happened.
On Sunday afternoon I was laying on my floor and Beatrice had crawled into my dress and was sleeping beside me. Out of no where she awoke with a jolt and ran to itch. Just a few seconds later she was stretched out on the floor almost gasping for breath. I screamed and my boyfriend went to pick her up as I ran for the Karo. She kept pushing her head back against his hand and I gave her some syrup, but it didn't seem to do anything. None of her symptoms seemed like a seizure, but I wanted to be sure since she had insulinoma. We immediately got into to car and drove an hour to the emergency vet (I honestly didn't think she would make it). After talking with the vet (who was really sweet) I made the hardest decision of my life, to have her put to sleep. She was maxed out on her prednisone, very thin, and had just turned 7 years old. Oh my goodness... I cried for literally 5 hours non stop. My face hurt so bad and my eyes were very swollen. The worst part was when the vet came in after they gave me time to say goodbye and asked if I was ready. Of course I wasn't...I never would be ready to give her up. I will NEVER be able to forget her beautifully precious face peeking out of her favorite blanket as the vet took her away for the last time. It was so indescribably painful, thinking about it still hurts and is making me cry. The vet gave me a little clay heart with her paw prints in it, and I brought her home and buried her outside my favorite window and put a garden lamp next to it, so I can look out and see her. Cleaning the cage out the next day made me cry even more. I would give anything to have her back. I wouldn't care what she pooped on or destroyed. I am just really really unhappy. I really miss giving her medicines twice a day, it became such a routine part of my life. I just don't understand because she had actually seemed really good all that day and I had taken her to her normal vet that previous Thurs (which is when he decided to up her dosage of pred). I had always hoped she would pass peacefully in her sleep. This is NEVER a decision I wanted to make. I just hope I made the right choice. I am grateful that I was at home and she didn't have to suffer alone. I know she is happy now, especially not having to have medicine given to her all the time.
Just to say a little about her...
Beatrice was wonderful. She was my first ever ferret; I could not have asked for a better or more loving pet. Unfortunately she was already 5 years old when she came to be mine. (When I found her at PetLand she was covered in fleas. Her former home ignorantly fed her Marshall food, marshmallows, raisins, cheerios, and sweet tea on a regular basis. I blame her disease on them and would love to give them a piece of my mind and fist.) She was so well behaved and gentle. She loved plastic bags and rolling around on the carpet. She took to switching to raw really well and was always easy to please. Since her diagnosis in Oct of 2009 her level of play went down a lot, but she still loved to spend time with me. I let her swim and took her outdoors and to the park. I hope more than anything that she knows how deeply I love her and that I did everything I could...I really tried my best. I would literally give anything to have her back with me, happy and healthy...it still doesn't seem real that she is gone. I feel like something is wrong with me because I get a painful lump in my throat and am still crying about her when I think about it (which is several times a day). I hope she is feeling no pain where she is and is back to enjoying life the way she used to. Beatrice, I LOVE YOU!
06/08/2003 - 06/27/2010
I have been putting this off for almost a week now because I could not bear to think about the words that need to be said...even getting on the forum made me cry. This is really long, but I need to say it because I feel like to no one understands what I am going through, and I know you guys will.
On Sunday, June 27, 2010, Beatrice passed away. I swear I have never experienced such a terrible pain in my life...not even when human family members have passed away. I am still not really sure what happened.
On Sunday afternoon I was laying on my floor and Beatrice had crawled into my dress and was sleeping beside me. Out of no where she awoke with a jolt and ran to itch. Just a few seconds later she was stretched out on the floor almost gasping for breath. I screamed and my boyfriend went to pick her up as I ran for the Karo. She kept pushing her head back against his hand and I gave her some syrup, but it didn't seem to do anything. None of her symptoms seemed like a seizure, but I wanted to be sure since she had insulinoma. We immediately got into to car and drove an hour to the emergency vet (I honestly didn't think she would make it). After talking with the vet (who was really sweet) I made the hardest decision of my life, to have her put to sleep. She was maxed out on her prednisone, very thin, and had just turned 7 years old. Oh my goodness... I cried for literally 5 hours non stop. My face hurt so bad and my eyes were very swollen. The worst part was when the vet came in after they gave me time to say goodbye and asked if I was ready. Of course I wasn't...I never would be ready to give her up. I will NEVER be able to forget her beautifully precious face peeking out of her favorite blanket as the vet took her away for the last time. It was so indescribably painful, thinking about it still hurts and is making me cry. The vet gave me a little clay heart with her paw prints in it, and I brought her home and buried her outside my favorite window and put a garden lamp next to it, so I can look out and see her. Cleaning the cage out the next day made me cry even more. I would give anything to have her back. I wouldn't care what she pooped on or destroyed. I am just really really unhappy. I really miss giving her medicines twice a day, it became such a routine part of my life. I just don't understand because she had actually seemed really good all that day and I had taken her to her normal vet that previous Thurs (which is when he decided to up her dosage of pred). I had always hoped she would pass peacefully in her sleep. This is NEVER a decision I wanted to make. I just hope I made the right choice. I am grateful that I was at home and she didn't have to suffer alone. I know she is happy now, especially not having to have medicine given to her all the time.
Just to say a little about her...
Beatrice was wonderful. She was my first ever ferret; I could not have asked for a better or more loving pet. Unfortunately she was already 5 years old when she came to be mine. (When I found her at PetLand she was covered in fleas. Her former home ignorantly fed her Marshall food, marshmallows, raisins, cheerios, and sweet tea on a regular basis. I blame her disease on them and would love to give them a piece of my mind and fist.) She was so well behaved and gentle. She loved plastic bags and rolling around on the carpet. She took to switching to raw really well and was always easy to please. Since her diagnosis in Oct of 2009 her level of play went down a lot, but she still loved to spend time with me. I let her swim and took her outdoors and to the park. I hope more than anything that she knows how deeply I love her and that I did everything I could...I really tried my best. I would literally give anything to have her back with me, happy and healthy...it still doesn't seem real that she is gone. I feel like something is wrong with me because I get a painful lump in my throat and am still crying about her when I think about it (which is several times a day). I hope she is feeling no pain where she is and is back to enjoying life the way she used to. Beatrice, I LOVE YOU!