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Post by Jaycee on Nov 23, 2009 17:46:04 GMT -5
To my loving family,
I have a few words I would like to share with you. Firstly, to my fuzzy brothers and sisters, I know the past few months have been a challenge for you. I wasn't quite myself anymore, and growing more tired by the day. You wanted me to join you in our games like we did before, but I needed more and more rest. Thank you for being there with me, and for keeping me so much a part of your lives. I will never forget the warmth of our friendship, and the sweet cuddles and kisses at night as we snuggled in to dream. Remember, you need not search for me, for I will always, always be with you no matter what.
My dear furless family, I know the past few days have been exceptionally difficult for you to bear. I wanted so much to nudge your faces and to lick away your tears, but I had grown so tired that all I could do to express my gratitude was to look up at your loving eyes with mine and hope you knew. I think you did. Those long, long hours you held me against you for warmth were very soothing to me....and I will never forget the comforting sound of your heart beating with mine. Please, do not cry for me anymore, for I am no longer in pain. Today, I danced to the bridge to the beat of our heartsong....and I will dance with you again some day.
With forever love,
Jetta April 20, 2008 - November 23, 2009
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Post by sherrylynne on Nov 23, 2009 20:09:22 GMT -5
I am so sorry to hear about Jetta. Your letter just brought tears to my eyes. And you're right- she's now no longer in pain, and dancing and playing at the bridge, watching over all of you.
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Post by Jaycee on Nov 23, 2009 20:27:54 GMT -5
Thank you. Her passing has been very hard on us, even more so considering she was so young. When my husband brought her home last year, she was a ball of never-ending energy and razor sharp teeth. She was my ADHD ferret....crazy! She never slowed down for anyone or any thing. I told my husband that she lived all her years she should have had and squeezed into 1 1/2 years. This is my second ferret I have lost before the age of 2. She fought very long, and hard. A warrior's heart 'till the very end.
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Post by Heather on Nov 24, 2009 0:59:59 GMT -5
I'm so sorry, how little my words can mean to you now. So young, she shouldn't have had to walk that long lonely path yet. I will light a white candle, to guide her footsteps. I'm sure that my little white pirate, Porthos will greet her and show her a high time. He wasn't much more than a baby too, taken far too soon and much too young. I'm sure that they will enjoy each other's company, romping, digging and playing games of tag. Porthos always enjoyed the ladies . He would consider it an honour to be your little one's companion until the time comes when once again she will be with you once more. Look to the wind, it knows where our little ones play and it carries the messages from us to them. Listen, and you will hear them too. Their soft chuckles, their tiny footsteps....all you need to do is stop, slow your breath, close your eyes and you will hear them and if you're really lucky you will see them once more as they race down the paths of our memories. ciao
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Post by Jaycee on Nov 24, 2009 18:40:19 GMT -5
Thank you for your kind words and thoughts. My husband and I have been having a hard time coping with her passing, and my poor 8 year old went to school yesterday with tears in his eyes. His teacher (with good intentions, I am sure) made him stand before the class to explain why he was so upset. This only adds to my discomfort knowing he had such a hard time with it as well. He drew a nice picture for Jetta stating "I love you very much. Have a good time with Whisp. I hope you have fun". Whisp was my little white ferret that passed a year ago, but not even her death (my first) had hit us as hard as Jetta's.
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Post by Forum Administrator on Nov 29, 2009 4:51:57 GMT -5
Oh Jaycee! I am so very sorry! Poor Jetta. What happened? If you are too upset to talk about it, I will understand.
It is good to hear from you, though I am sad it had to be under such sad circumstances.
Big fuzzy hugs to you and your whole family, especially the skin kids.
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Post by Jaycee on Nov 29, 2009 9:22:43 GMT -5
I think it was back in the summer when we first noticed she wasn't quite herself anymore. She still played...but not with the same intensity as before. And her abdomen was so distended. We thought she had splenomegaly, but the vet (a small animal/ferret vet) was uncertain. She did blood work (which was all inconclusive) and she began to think it was Aleutians disease or a corona virus, but she never did know for sure. We decided that, although the Aleutians disease is highly contagious, the other ferrets had already been exposed, so we kept Jetta in the group with her family. She continued to eat and drink, and for a while she seemed to do better. But then, she began losing weight, and that is when we started her on duk soup and hand feedings. She continued to have those curious, bright eyes, up until the last night. I spent all weekend hand feeding her and taking turns with my husband holding her close to keep her warm and comfortable. I kept thinking "it won't be too much longer" and to Jetta "it is ok, you can go". But she wouldn't give up. She could no longer walk there at the end, and was incontinent. We kept her clean, and would alternate her positioning for comfort. But she still clung on to her life. She so didn't want to die....just kept fighting. By Monday morning, when she still hadn't passed, we had to help her along. It is so hard for me, because, I think maybe we should have found a vet Saturday to have her put down before it got so bad. But again, her eyes were so bright and she had such an interest in life. I feel guilty that she may have suffered, and that I had done the wrong thing. But, to have seen her face Saturday, I couldn't take away the thing she wanted so bad....to be alive. You know how everyone says, when they are ready they will let you know it is time? She never did. She didn't appear to be in any discomfort then, but hind sight being what it is, I probably should have gone somewhere Saturday. I just don't know.
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Post by sherrylynne on Nov 29, 2009 11:47:20 GMT -5
You did the right thing, Jaycee. Never second guess that. She probably also wanted her time to say goodbye.
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Post by Jaycee on Nov 29, 2009 11:52:32 GMT -5
I suppose, but I still don't feel good about it at all. That last night here with us....it was horrible. I guess, really, it is the grief that her heart was so young and strong, but her body just gave out. I was so unfair for her to have to go through all of this....still so much a baby. I didn't want to short change her any more than she already was.
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Post by Heather on Nov 29, 2009 14:43:36 GMT -5
I wish there was something I could say that would make you feel better about this, but I've been there and I know that some you just feel wrong about. Did you by any chance get your vet to do a autopsy (I know the wrong term for an animal but they're our little furbabies)? Sometimes, these help make us feel a bit better about our decisions and they help give us information about the cause, and how to help our other furbabies too. I felt horrible about letting my Mayhem go, like your little one he just didn't want to take time out to travel to the next world, he had too much to live for. Unlike your little girl, Mayhem was old approx 8 yrs but he still didn't want to let go. He had suffered a stroke that had taken away his ability to walk (I know ferrets don't suffer from strokes, they suffer from embolisms...the difference being??). He fought back and eventually got most of his mobility back, but his belly had started to swell, to the point that those weakened legs could barely support him. Xrays showed cardiomyliopathy. We started treating him for that. He fought on, almost a year after we started treating him and 18 months after his stroke the meds stopped working. We adjusted did what we could. His weight was almost up to 6 lbs (mostly fluid)...xrays no longer could be read...too much fluid. The decision to put this little fighter down. I felt horrible. He wasn't ready for this and he showed it by fighting the needle and then the anesthetic. Despite our best efforts, he fought the anesthetic for over half an hour (he was beyond pain, please understand, he wasn't in pain, his little heart just wouldn't stop). I held him during that time. 3 needles were given, enough to end the life of a dog, much less a ferret. I cried and he fought for his life. To this day, this hurts. The vet did an autopsy. We needed to know, what was wrong, why did the meds suddenly stop working......Lymphomas, in the spleen, liver kidneys and a cancerous mass around the adrenal glands. He should have been dead. I still see those bright little eyes looking at me. So full of life but I know I did him the favour, I gave him a gift to stop the pain that he had to be in. Some of our little ones don't know when to stop. Some of our little ones would continue to fight despite all the horrible pain, despite anything. Take that fight and know that your little one loved you so much that fighting all that was worth spending just another minute with you. Know that love transends time, space and is still with you. Don't feel guilty, she wouldn't have wanted that. Ferrets live for the now, and survive into eternity in our hearts. ciao
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Post by Jaycee on Nov 29, 2009 14:55:49 GMT -5
No, I never had the vet do an autopsy. To be honest...it wasn't at the forefront of my mind. We are having her cremated, and will bring her home to be with Whisp. I can completely understand how hard that must have been for you and Mayhem....it is exactly what happened with Jetta. She had so much more life to live....life can really be cruel sometimes. Thank you all so much for you words. I know she is in a better place, but it will just take me a while to accept that I did the right thing and to be all right with it.
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Post by Forum Administrator on Dec 7, 2009 23:31:30 GMT -5
Its always hard because you don't want to do it to early or too late. You just have to do what you think is best. It sounds like if I would have been in your shoes I'd have done the same thing. Don't beat yourself up. Know I am thinking about you. (((((hugs))))
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Post by Jaycee on Dec 12, 2009 17:04:53 GMT -5
Thank you all, again, for you works of sympathy and kindness. I can't say I am 100% yet, but feeling better than I did a few weeks back. Jetta came home yesterday, and is now together with Whisp....in some weird way I feel better that neither is alone now, if that makes any sense. The rest of my buisness is doing fine, and thankfully none seem to have ever fallen ill with this "unknown illness" Jetta had. I will have to continue to keep a close eye on them, just in case, but I think this was most likely an isolated incident.
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